Real, live Mitbangs.

So far I feel a little like I'm wearing a wig, and I possibly look even younger than I already did, but I am loving it. One step closer to the Chrissie Hynde goal. And also proof that Mitbangs are a thing of reality.

I haven't had bangs like this since I was a little kid, as you will now see below:


Enjoying pb&j on the old totally Cosby Brooklyn stoop! The beret is my mom's influence, I take no responsibility for her fashion choices. But there are the early Mitbangs, nicely offset by large plastic 80s kids' glasses.


I will, however, give Mom accolades until the end of time for this Halloween costume. She sacrificed her own pants and shirt and PAINTED them and the whole nine. No one knows it but my mom is an incredible artist. For my 4th birthday I had a bunch of preschool kids over to our apartment and my mom made a beanbag toss herself - she painted Cookie Monster on it and the hole was his open mouth, then she made the beanbags and decorated them to look like chocolate chip cookies. Word. Anyway, Mitbangs peeping out from under the buffoon hat.


More of my mom's genius: For reasons I never bothered to question (I was 3), I had the enormous master bedroom in our BK apartment. I'm talking huge. Mom helped me take a big box (get an idea of the scale from the fact that this is 3-year-old me STANDING in it) from some large appliance and decorate it to look like a house. It had painted flowerboxes and a door handle and everything, it was so sweet. That was probably the one thing I was devastated about leaving when we moved to Jersey.


Check out my road rage face and then look a little closer to my Mitbangs totally static clung to the top of the car.


Oh Mom and Dad, you're so clever! You made it look like I was a 2-year-old drinking beer! They were the first ever to execute that joke. No parents before mine had this idea. And there's the earliest documented incarnation of Mitbangs.

The great thing about being poor is

you gotta have roommates. One of mine is my dear dear college friend Zach. Our friendship consists entirely - without exception - of spontaneous and uncannily synchronized singing of pop songs, and Nacho Libre impressions. When we're hanging out on the futon things like the following video happen.




Things to know:
-I was wearing a set of felt flower goggles that my friend Priya brought me from London as a gift two visits ago.
-I was knitting when Zachary brought the computer over, so I kept knitting.
-When we both jump and then crack up, it's because our roommate Matt arrived home to this scene and we were momentarily hilariously embarrassed.

If only for Ricky Gervais giving himself boobies.

My own life of befores and afters.

Since I'm always showing other folks, I thought it might be fair to chronicle the hair phases I've been through over the last 24 years. Every one of these haircuts/colors I've given myself, except for the two which I make note of.


Prom. Did it myself y'all.



Shiny little bob, freshman year. And totally loving that bottle of Arbor Mist.


20th birthday.


Looking sorority-worthy junior year in college, with highlights aplenty. For the record, I did not pledge a sorority.


A perm! And lazy eye?


Almost blonde. And drunk!


That flag is an Italian peace flag my folks brought back from Italy and hung from the porch. When I said, "You know people are going to think you mean gay pride, right?" they replied, "We enjoy the double entendre." Short, dyed black with some red in front.


OK it's a wig, but I've worn it for 3 Halloweens so it counts.



Black with neon pink in front and back after my first attempt at an at-home bleach job. Thank god it worked; now that I know what I know about bleach it's a miracle I didn't burn all my hairs off.


Back to black and short. And a lip ring.

When I took a chance on letting a professional cut my hair for the first time in years and wound up with about one inch of it left on my head. Looks sort of sleek and daring from the side, but from the front there was a giant Dumbo ear situation. This photo right here is precisely why I do extensive consultations with everyone who sits in my chair and there is an ongoing dialogue as I cut to make sure you don't walk out with something you're gonna cry about.


A pixie bangs/headband phase.


My best friend Michelle holding a turkey.


Rocked a real live mullet. And LOVED IT.


Finally, last December around my birthday I got a professional cut again, and it was awful AGAIN.


I've since been growing it out, with the final goal of this. Chrissie Hynde. The end.

vlad and boris from russia proclaim their love for sarah

So come on all you hot fans!

Another Sunday, another football viewing on Jeff's beautiful television. This time there was something else to watch, almost as entertaining. The small Virgil, Jeff's cat:


NFL Virgil, nesting.


NFL Virgil, floor lounging.



NFL Virgil, trying to escape out the window.

Hairs!

Last night after school I did THREE haircuts at my place. Three! Eight hours of hair at school, then 3 more hours of hair at home. I was done at 9pm, collapsed into the futon and ate some Cuban takeout with my roommate Zach, re-watched some of last week's SNL (the sketch with Kristen Wiig saying, "Ohhhhhh myyyyyy gaaaaaaad..." and freaking out about a surprise) and went to bed. But it was a really fun evening and everybody's hair came out super. Of course, as always, I forgot to take before and after pictures, and one of the girls emailed me today with a shot she took of herself last night after leaving my place because she liked it so much! The back is the impressive part, cause it's a really beautiful layered bob, but the front looks good too and I gave her those bangs, so here it is:


Such a great time, especially because I didn't know her - she was a referral from a friend - and compounded with that, she'd had iffy experiences with hair stylists and was nervous to let a new person do her hair, much less a student, not in a professional setting! So I was happy that I could pull it out and give her a real stunner of a cut. Plus she tipped me in wine and two skin products from her company. The other one tipped me in large bottles of beer.

Keep it coming, kids! Come on over, it'll be fun, and cheap, and alcoholic if that's what you're in the mood for.

Here's the SNL video in case you missed it: